Thursday, January 19, 2017

Week 1 Story: Hunt for Water




A sunshiny shower

Won’t last half an hour 

item image #0 

Far in the Sahara Desert Tom and Ben lived. His owner left Tom ten years ago during the worst sand storm to have existed. Ben was just a baby camel then traveling the desert with his father, Tom. Tom was getting old. Ben started to notice his father getting weaker day by day. Ben asked, “Father is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” Tom replied, “Son I will be on my toes again if there was a droplet of water in this furious land.” That very moment, Ben knew what he had to do—he had to find water. He told Tom, “Father I am going to find us water!” Tom laughed at him. Ben didn’t understand why, so he went off on a hunt for water without permission. He looked and looked. There was nothing—not a single droplet of water to taste. He saw an old camel roaming the desert with three other camels. It was a family! In excitement, Ben said hello. The camel looked at him and did not respond. The other camel said, “Honey, that’s Tom’s son, Ben!” The old man did not respond, and walked away. Crissy said, “Oh Ben, don’t mind him. He does not like to talk much. Him and your father traveled this desert together ten years ago! You probably don’t remember. They did everything together…until your father passed away. Ben was confused. He said, “Crissy, my father is still alive. I’m looking for water for him. Where do I find this thing called water? What does it look like? Does it have a smell?” Crissy replied, “Oh honey, there hasn’t been water in this desert for centuries.” Ben stayed a longer to meet Crissy’s kids, eat, and then left on his hunt for water. It was month five, and Ben was losing hope. He wanted to go back home. He wanted to see Crissy again. He wished he never left. He decided to go back to his father in tears and disappointment when suddenly he saw something, or maybe it was a person. He walked up to it. It was a tiny bubble. It was clear and shiny. He was scared to touch it. He looked and looked. He didn’t know what this was. He saw another bubble, and then something fell on him. He looked startled. If fell on his nose. He licked it. He knew he had found water! The droplets slowly fell. He had to get back to his father, and tell Crissy, and her husband what he had discovered, so he went back. Two months later, he found Crissy and her family again. He told them to come with him to see his father! The old camel looked at him funny. In amazement, he asked, “Tom is still alive?” They all traveled back to Tom and two months later he saw his father lying on the ground and shaking. He was sick. Then suddenly, a tiny droplet fell on Ben again! His father saw it! He said, “Ben that’s water!” They laughed and then suddenly his father fell back down and did not get up. Tom did not make it for the rainstorm that lasted ten years. Ben grew up to store water for everyone in the desert. He was the camel that discovered water. For years and years, he provided to water for all. Never again was a camel left without water. It was the never ending rainstorm.

Author's Note: This story is based off the nursery rhyme "A shiny shower won't last half an hour." I wrote this story based on the meaning of good things last longer than the moment like a single droplet can turn into a rainstorm. 

Bibliography: The Nursery Rhyme Book by Andrew Lang

3 comments:

  1. Hi Dhara,

    I have never heard of this nursery rhyme before, and this is a great way to look at this old nursery rhyme. I really like how your story was able to flow together, and definitely show your interpretation of the nursery rhyme. Your selected image ties this story together allowing someone like myself to actually imagine the story.

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  2. I like how you had a morale behind your story. The image of the desert set the precedence for the story. I also believe that good moments, memories, and experiences last much longer. With the technology such as snapchat and instagram, I feel that our generation has the potential to ruin these moments with these apps and technology that are only temporary. The moments are overshadowed.

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  3. You took such a small rhyme and made such a great elaborate story! It's very sad that Tom didn't make it but sometimes that is just how life goes. I liked the dialogue and how you presented Ben, he felt like a little kid that really wanted to impress everyone but was still naive. One recommendation, you might think about breaking up the paragraph into smaller sections. A few times I lost my place because it was a big sea of words. All in all, great story!

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